why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
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No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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