You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
