making cat noises will not fix the situation.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
where are my eyebrows?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
