I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
