you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
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Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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