I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
