I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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