I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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