Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
