I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
