Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
