a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
