She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
