You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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