So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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