Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
