Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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