Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
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we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
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That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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