Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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