Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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