I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
