u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
