And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
