My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
