I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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