We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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