Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
