people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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