I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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