I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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