Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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