So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
