Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I need water and some morals
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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