Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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