I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
