she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
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I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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