You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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