And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Hippo gnu deer
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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