mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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