Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
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I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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