then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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