My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
