youre lurking in front of me
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
