Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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