her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She bit a glass in half.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?