he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.