i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.