Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.