I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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