Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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