I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And then my night got REAL pukey
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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