My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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