When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
