I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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