hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize