My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
