Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
