I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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