I can tuck mytits in my pants
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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