Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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