I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
