Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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