I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
