Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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