I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's just like the Real World with babies
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
