Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It was confusing and full of hummus
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
