She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I am mentally ready for anal.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
