I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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