Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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