I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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