you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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